Getting your toddler to listen
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Toddlers are just like the rest of us — they don't always listen. Being a good listener helps your child learn more effectively, get along better with you and with other adults she'll be expected to respect, and also make better friends.
Try these strategies when your child isn't listening:
Before the problematic situation
- Be playful.
- Say "no" less by childproofing your home.
- Make sure your child has at least 15 minutes a day of your complete attention.
- Find time for yourself so you have the energy to give the proper attention and discipline.
- Ignore mild behavior. If a child does not get attention for a behavior, he will often stop doing it.
- Give warnings then follow through rapidly. For example before you're ready to leave the house, tell your child "We're going to leave in a few minutes."
During the problematic situation
- Redirect your child to another activity.
- Use humor as a distracting tool
- Get on her level. Squat down or pick your child up, so you can look her in the eye and grab her attention.
- Be clear. Your message should not be too long and should not be phrased as a question if your child doesn't actually have a choice.
- Mean what you say. If you tell your 2-year-old, "You need to drink some milk at dinnertime," don't let her have juice instead.
- Stay emotionally neutral. Avoid spanking and shouting.
- "Calming time." Giving your child a quiet activity (drawing, coloring, puzzle pieces, etc) can calm her better than simply sitting (a time-out)
After the problematic situation
- Treat them with confident good humor. The good humor and trust you demonstrate to your child when speaking to her will make her want to listen to you.
- Model good behavior. Make it a habit to listen to your child as respectfully as you would to any adult.
- Trial and error. Remember that each child is different and find what works specifically for you and your child.
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