Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a teenager to take that advice is not. Sometimes the teenager not only ignores your advice, he does the exact opposite. But despite that fact, there's no age more than adolescence when kids are in need of advice. So consider these strategies to break through their resistance and give them advice they'll actually hear and try? Consider these strategies:
The most effective way to get your point across is to keep your comments clear, concise, and positive. Teenagers react to criticism by defending their behavior. So brief, nonjudgmental comments have the best chance of making an impact.
Instead of criticizing you can highlight their qualities. Reminding teens of their strengths will focus their minds on choosing options that make the best of them. Focusing on their weaknesses will let them lose confidence in doing anything.
Questions encourage kids to think for themselves, and asking rather than telling gives them the sense that you trust them. Don't always ask for an immediate answer. Give them time to go away and think about the answers.
You can also try the "let's collaborate" approach by explaining your concern, then soliciting your kid's suggestions for how to solve it. The two of you can write down strategies and decide which ones to try. If she thinks one of the strategies suits her, let her try it for a week or two — even if you think it's a bad idea. Once she tried it her way and saw that it doesn't work, she'll be more open to trying your suggestions.
Most of us can be afraid of this approach as it seems like we're losing control over our teenagers. Adolescence, though, is a time for learning to self-manage and to take responsibility for your actions. Your teen is very likely to make mistakes and what is wrong about that? You're teaching them how to self-correct, just as they did when they first learned to ride a bike and kept falling off. Making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process; more learning comes from making mistakes than comes from getting it 'right'.
Listen to your teen specially at the time they talk most.
A formal, "Come here; we need to talk" approach usually isn't the best way to get through to a teen. But if you merge advice into everyday conversations, you're less likely to encounter defensiveness or hostility. If you're dealing with a real hot issue, allow both of you to cool off before discussing it. Conversations tend to go better when they're less emotionally charged.
Often just listening to your teen without interrupting will show you that you don't even need to give advice; your teen already has a solution.
Directing your teen to a source of information that's neutral allows your teen access to information without having to agree to your point of view.
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